We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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