I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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