grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dignity is for republicans.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
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