Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
