Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
