the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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