We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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