And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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