thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
