At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
