Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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