I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
