I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
