I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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