I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
