you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was like eating out sand paper
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
