Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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