Kiss
Puke
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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