And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
