Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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