people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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