you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
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I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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