I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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