she smelled like a LAN party
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
