She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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