Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
