ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
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My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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