Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
