So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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