You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
