Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
