3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
