i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
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Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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