New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
