Me too!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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