saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we're making bets on your personal life
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
