I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
