curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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