He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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