garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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