Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
