You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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