I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
40s are totally the cure
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
