If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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