I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
