Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
