Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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