i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
