You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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