Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We were destined to go to rehab together
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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