where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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