google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
this hospital has no fireball
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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