Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
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Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
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So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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