the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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