Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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