You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
How's work?
Spinning.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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