new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
