Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
