I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
